We have all been in this phase where we can’t seem to get over someone. All the songs and movies about heartbreak suddenly seem relatable. You’re not alone in this; we all have been through heartbreaks (even Taylor Swift). While this phase might feel like never-ending torture and you may often find yourself wondering, How to get over a girl?
Being in love is a beautiful emotion, but it cannot happen overnight, and getting over it can take time, too. It’s a process, but it is possible. Getting over someone is easier said than done. However, getting over a girl you truly love can be hard, and you need to make a lot of psychological and emotional efforts.
Studies have shown that our brain conceives heartbreak as any other physical injury. Even healing from both can take a while. This article will guide you through all the aspects of your heartbreak; you will find the answers to how to get over a girl.
The first step is always the Hardest
Love is an incredible feeling, and it is a human tendency, we want to be loved. While love can make you feel on top of the world, it can also hurt you in ways you can’t imagine. Getting over a girl you love can be dreadful. However, If you are here, that means at least you are trying.
I understand that this might feel like the end of the world, but it is just a phase you’ll get over it. How you deal with your loss tells a lot about your personality. This emotional scar can damage you forever or might be a lesson for you. It completely depends on how you deal with it. Take this phase as a challenge that can shape you as a better person, and you can come stronger out of this.
This can be hard for you, but we are here to help you out. Here are some practical, and psychological steps that will tell you how to get over a girl.
Accept the Reality
Get over it, man! It is over! This must be something that your friends might tell you every day. But the day you tell this to yourself and accept the harsh reality. That will be the day you will start to heal.
You need to know your worth and not settle for someone who doesn’t want you. If someone doesn’t accept you for who you are, clearly, they are not for you. You need to accept this not for them but for yourself.
However, this doesn’t mean hating or holding grudges against that girl. Just cherish the good times you both spend together and use it as a motivation to find someone you deserve. Someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Suppose you find yourself thinking about that girl again. Just remind yourself that you don’t miss them; you just miss the idea of them. The way that girl makes you feel, and guess what? This has more to do with your own idea of happiness than with someone else.
Stop doing Favors for Her
We tend to go out of our way and make a lot of effort to be liked by a girl. Doing favors for someone just because you want to be with her or you find her attractive. This will only lead you to feel used and misunderstood.
In fact, even after going out of your way to impress her. The girl might think that you are like this in general and will take your efforts for granted. Or on the other hand, this might make her think that you are doing all this just to go on a date with her, which can make her feel uncomfortable.
You don’t want this to be in this scenario, so if you are still doing her favors. Like buying her gifts and paying her bills without her asking for them; stop doing that right now! Don’t let any girl whom you want to get over, take you for granted.
Even if you are on good terms with that girl. But before doing any favor or doing anything for her. Stop and ask yourself if you would do the same for a male friend or any other friend.
I know it can seem harsh or rude at first. But you don’t have to be rude if she asks for any favor. You suggest any alternative or make any excuse like ‘I am trying to focus on my work right now or ‘I am saving up money for something.
If she is genuinely a good friend, she won’t mind this. Moreover, your efforts will also be valued now.
Validate your Feelings
Getting over a girl, whether she has rejected you or for whatever reasons, can make you feel insecure and have a lot of different emotions. You are allowed to feel hurt or angry, don’t suppress your feelings.
Don’t be so hard on yourself; allow yourself to process the pain. Don’t suppress your emotions because if you don’t let your emotions out, they will explode in an unexpected way. Take time for yourself and channel your emotions into something productive.
Don’t hold back, don’t expect yourself to feel better instantly. Don’t try to be bold and strong when you are clearly not feeling that way. Stop questioning yourself because that might affect and reflect upon your future relationships. Take one day at a time and let yourself heal at your own pace.
Stop Stalking Her
We have all known the saying, out of sight, out of mind. As much as you want to, avoid looking at her posts, images, stories, etc., on her timeline. Even when someone speaks to us, their words evoke psychological images in our thoughts since we think in pictures.
However, in this case, thinking about her is the last thing you need. If you still can’t resist looking at her profile, then just block or unfriend her. You don’t necessarily need to make a big deal out of this. Do it for yourself. You can’t let a random post or video affect your mental peace.
Trust the Process of Letting Her Go
Sometimes we tend to hold on to things more than we should. This can be a toxic tendency as it will affect your mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. I know it might sound easy to let go, but it’s really hard.
Once we plan or visualize ourselves with someone, we find it really hard to let them go. Our minds cannot seem to understand how to let her go. But trust me, once you let her go, you will feel a sense of freedom.
Nothing can hold you back after that, and you will feel a lot better and light-headed. You can overcome everything, your fear, insecurities, and grudges. Just trust the process and the magic of letting go.
Talk it Out
Having someone by our side who care is important. We need a shoulder to rely on and share our feelings. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your friends and family, and there is no shame in pain. Reconnect with your old friends and family and speak your heart out.
Talk about whatever is bothering you, what you saw in that girl at first and how this situation is affecting you now. However, talking things over will also help you understand why you feel this way and what lead you in this direction. Even you will have a better understanding of how to get over a girl.
Additionally, this will also make your bond with your family and friends stronger. You will be happy to know that someone got your back and that you have a reliable support system.
Still, if you cannot contact your friends or family for any reason or you might not have that bonding with them. You can always find a friend online or someone to talk to; even if they live miles away still, you can share your feelings with them. This will help you heal, and you will feel much better.
Don’t be Obsessed with Her
While talking your feelings out is good, don’t let it be the only topic of conversation you have. Talking over and over again about the same girl can make you overthink. You will be stuck in a loop of overthinking and going through the same emotion again and again.
Moreover, this will make you relive the feeling of loss every time you talk about her. So it’s better not to have the same conversation every time you meet someone. Not everyone is your friend, and not everyone will understand what you are going through.
Instead, take your mind off that thing and spend time doing your favorite activities. Prioritize yourself and spend time doing things that make you happy. Channel your emotions into something productive.
Focus on Yourself
Self-care may be the key to helping you move on from someone. Put yourself first, and prioritize your health. Allow yourself to indulge in the things that bring you joy, and stop being so harsh on yourself. Keep a progress journal and schedule time for yourself.
We have put so much strain on ourselves in this hustle-culture era. We must set aside time for ourselves and monitor our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Regardless of your circumstances, find a way to give yourself priority each day so that you may refuel and be your best self.
Now that you are free from the relationship and the other person take some time to reassess your life. You can engage in any activity that brings you joy or that you find enjoyable. You may go out with your pals, shop, see a movie, or go to a restaurant.
Wearing your favorite clothes or taking care of your skin may both improve your mood and make you feel good about yourself. Additionally, this will aid in your recovery and assist you in advance in your life.
Make yourself a Priority
A difficult breakup affects your mental, emotional, and even physical health. Make sure you’re eating healthily, getting enough sleep, drinking lots of water, exercising, hanging out with friends, and engaging in other activities you enjoy.
A breakup can be wonderful because it helps you figure out what you want, don’t want, and won’t ever settle for again. If you let it, this might be a period of great expansion, transformation, and forward progress.
Make the most of all the time you have to yourself now to restart your relationship with yourself and your favorite activities, your work, your interests, and your buddies. With the appropriate mindset, your breakup may be your comeback.
Don’t be Jealous
We can’t imagine the one we once loved with someone else. But to get over a girl, you need to understand that you cannot hold on to them. You need to be in a secure place in your life, so if she is talking to or dating another person, that should not affect you.
Don’t ever compare yourself to others in her life. It is their choice. It has nothing to do with you who they are now. You need to realize your self-worth; you can’t keep comparing yourself to others. Don’t let your jealousy control your actions in any way.
Moreover, once you have decided to move on, whatever she is doing and who she is with is none of your business. She is absolutely free to make her own decisions, and you need to respect her.
Meet New People
Once you feel ready, you can meet and socialize with new people. This will give you the freshness that you need in your life. Make room and space for new people and experiences in your life.
However, don’t rush into another relationship; take your time and first allow yourself to heal. Said that there is no harm in putting yourself out there and being open to new experiences will really help you.
Interacting with new people will also make you realize that you can develop feeling for someone new and you can still feel connected with someone. It will take you out of that mindset that you can’t love someone else. This will open the doors for many new and exciting experiences.
Move on with Grace
Moving on in life without someone you love or care about is one of life’s most difficult tasks. Breaking up is such an odd phenomenon because suddenly, someone who was a regular part of your life. Someone who has known you better than anyone else. Someone you talked to and spent time with every day becomes someone you just used to know.
Don’t hold any grudges or hate in your heart for her. Just cherish the good memories you had with her and understand that that’s gone. You don’t have to hate that girl because there must be something you saw in her that you fell for in the first place. So respect her even after you are not together and just learn to let go.
Keep the respect and dignity of what you had. There is nothing more attractive than a respectful and dignified guy.
Shift your Focus
Once you accept the reality and you are ready to move ahead in your life. Try to fill that void, keep yourself occupied and be productive. There are several options out there that you can explore.
Moreover, there is no point in keeping looking at your past, so move forward and start planning accordingly. A heartbreak can be a great opportunity to begin something new. Now you can give your complete focus on your goal. Plan out a journey, and take steps towards a brighter future.
You don’t have to start with something big just incorporate small steps into your routine. You can start by taking up a hobby that you have always loved. Start working on it day by day, keep track of your growth, and you will realize that you are so occupied with your schedule that you have stopped overthinking about her.
Conclusion
In the end, breakups are terrible. They are not enjoyable in any way. But they may also serve as master courses in letting go, moving on, and emerging stronger and better afterward.
After all, sometimes it takes a feeling of sorrow to wake us up and make us realize that we are so much more valuable than we were allowing ourselves to believe. Open your hands and your heart, let go, and trust that whoever leaves your life does so because they are no longer meant to be there. On the other side, you’ll find the life and love you deserve.
Every wound gets healed over time, and we eventually learn to accept the scar and move on. Just remember whatever is meant for you will always find its way to you. So let her go, and you will realize what better plans the universe has for you. Just trust the timing of the universe, and only then can you heal.
After all the above discussion, I hope you have found the answer to how to get over a girl. Take the above advice step by step and see the difference.
Lastly, I hope this article was helpful to you, and you can now finally get over her and move ahead in your life.
