Attachment is a human tendency, and it comes naturally to us. From the time we are born, we develop a sense of attachment; studies have shown that an infant is attached to the parent. Thus, this attachment is important for shaping a person’s personality.
We, humans, are a complicated species; we crave being loved and being with someone. So when we are attached to someone, we feel secure, safe, and loved. This is something we all desire, but when this beautiful feeling of attachment comes too often, this can become a toxic trait and can lead to emotional damage; that’s when we need help.
This is when we ask ourselves why do I get attached so easily. If you feel like they are the one after just one or two dates, then this article is for you. Ahead in this article, we will talk about the signs that you need to see if you get attached easily and the solutions as well. So let us dive in.
Psychology Behind Attachment
To begin with, you need to understand what attachment type is. This will help you know yourself better and how you behave when you are attached. Whatever your attachment type is, it is not a conscious choice.
Regardless of your current attachment style, it can be secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, or disorganized avoidant. Your attachment type was created at an early phase in life.
Your attachment style is determined by the level of attunement, loving connection, security, and safety you experienced with your parents or caregivers as a child; it is not a “conscious decision.”
Your attachment style in adulthood will be most apparent in intimate relationships since it was created based on your experience with personal caregiving connections.
Intimate relationships, where vulnerability, trust, and safety are most important, expose your attachment wounds. Because of this, a person you are attached to can strongly trigger your traumas.
You don’t want to get hurt, and that’s why you don’t want to get attached easily to other people. Because that way, you give them the power to trigger you and hurt you. Here are some reasons you need to see for yourself if you get attached easily to others.
Attachment Theory: Explained
The theory of attachment explains why we act the way we do when dating and in relationships, and it can be especially reassuring for those who experience anxious attachments, which are characterized by a tendency to become overly emotionally attached to new people/partners quickly and a lack of security.
Moreover, stress can frequently bring out a person’s “worst” attachment issues; thus, they are more likely to occur when harmful patterns linked to trauma and wounds are more constantly triggering you.
On the other hand, because attachment issues are worsened by “opposing” traits, some attachment types have a tendency to be toxic to one another.
For instance, a partner who has an avoidant attachment style and a tendency to push others away will probably be very triggering to someone who has an anxious desire to attach and connect.
Even though healing is possible in any bonding and connection, some combinations make healing attachment issues far more difficult.
So if you are finding it hard to heal your attachment issues, you are more likely to find yourself constantly contemplating sending them a text or wishing they would acknowledge your feelings. Even though this might be quite draining and exhausting, feeling this way is completely natural and common.
Only when it becomes harmful and starts to take over your life should you start to be concerned about it. Here are some reasons why you get attached too easily to others and how you can prevent it.
You have an Anxious Attachment Style
If you quite often ask yourself, “Why do I get attached so easily,” then you might have an anxious attachment style. You have this constant need for a partnership to make you feel secure and accepted. But you don’t realize that this need is making you insecure and emotionally weak.
This type of attachment style makes you feel that the person you are attached to might not be there with you tomorrow, which unknowingly enhances and intensify your attachment.
This happens because of your insecurity, so whenever you meet someone who you feel comfortable with. You develop a sense of attachment because they make you feel accepted, but at this stage, your emotions are controlling you. You have a deep fear that they might leave you, and you won’t ever find someone like them again.
This type of attachment affects not only you but also your Partner. Can feel exhausted by constantly assuring that they will not leave your side.
You make your decision based on your feelings and emotions
This is why people say “love is blind” because when you are in a relationship, everything feels nice, and your emotions take over your mind. Your emotions start controlling your decision-making. This means even after seeing the red flags, and you will still develop feelings and get attached to someone.
This will make you seek validation from that person you will find yourself overthinking about them all the time. And if they don’t respond the same way, you can get hurt. So take control of your emotions and think practically. Don’t let anyone take control of your decisions.
It’s great to listen to your Partner and understand their opinion. But in a healthy relationship, don’t lose yourself and have your own identity as well.
You are too Dependent on your Partner
When you are in a relationship, you feel great, and you have this idea in your mind that you cant be happy otherwise. You make your relationship the center of your universe and then develop a fear that you can’t ever be happy without this relationship.
This is the biggest reason why you get emotionally attached. Soon you have this perception that you can’t be happy without this relationship. This will also create unnecessary pressure on your Partner as well.
If you seek your happiness in a relationship and make it the only source of happiness. This will lead you to be disappointed and hurt. So it’s better to realize that this relationship is just a part of your life, not your entire life.
You are filled with the idea of a ‘Forever Love’
Watching too many movies and romantic novels can make you dream about your happily ever after. So many people think that getting married or getting a partner is the only way to have a happy ending in their story. If you are one of them, this can be the reason for you getting attached too quickly to others.
If you keep looking desperately for your other half or soulmate ( as they call it in the movies), you will feel incomplete. Thus, whenever you go on a date, you want them to be your lifelong Partner. You start planning your future with them (in your head). This will give you an imaginary idea of love, and you will be left with unrealistic expectations.
The problem here is dreaming or planning a future too quickly with someone who you think is the one. However, you might realize later they are not what you had in mind, or they are not looking for the kind of commitment that you need. This can be really devastating when you have already filled your mind with a future together with them.
It’s high time! Stop being a hopeless romantic; it will only be led to disappointment. Instead, be practical, and don’t be desperate for your Partner. Take things easy, and don’t vision yourself with anyone you barely know. Take your time and see whether they are worth being attached to or not.
There is absolutely no problem in dreaming of a life with someone, but also understand that your life is more than just a dream.
You are Obsessed with your Partner
When you make your relationship the center of your whole world, you don’t have anything else to focus on in your life, and the one thing that makes you happy is your relationship. If you feel that this might also not work, your world will come crashing down.
This is why you get so attached to your Partner because you are putting all your time and effort into that one person, and you become obsessed with your Partner too soon. You can also come across as being creepy.
To get over such a situation, balance is the key. You should take time out to meet your friends and family. Create a balance in your relationship. Your other relations and friendships can also flourish this way. Maintain a healthy balance in your relationship and give time to others as well.
Instead, you can also indulge in some activities, and you can pick up a hobby, focus on your growth and have something to motivate yourself. Spent time doing activities that you enjoy instead of obsessing over your Partner. This will be good for your growth as well as your relationship.
You are Facing Love-Bombing in your Relationship
Love bombing is when your Partner shows affection and showers you with all the love and attention in the early phase of your relationship with the purpose of making you attached to them.
This is a tactic used by self-obsessed people to make you dependent on them. Love bombing is a manipulative tactic that a lot of people use to feel gratified and feel a sense of power when someone is dependent on them
Don’t fall into this trap because the victim of love bombing initially doesn’t even realize that it’s a tactic. You will start to believe that you’ve found the one, and later on, when you start depending on your Partner. They will start showing their true colors and this can devastate you and your well-being.
So keep your eyes open before trusting and depending totally on your Partner. Make sure you know them for a long enough period. Maintain an emotional distance before you really know your Partner.
Tell your Partner that you want to take things slow if you see their reaction; if they are not okay with it, then you know it’s a red flag. Then you better know what to do in this situation.
Your Partner is your only Source of Happiness
Depending on someone to cheer you and make you feel happy can make you get attached to them too quickly. So if you are asking your self ‘Why do I get attached too easily?’ Make sure your Partner is not the only source of happiness in your life.
Sometimes unconsciously, you put the pressure of making yourself happy on your Partner. Even though you have a supportive and cheerful partner still, without even realizing you are being dependent on them to make you happy, basically.
So, for instance, if they are not having a good day and not doing things that you expect them to behave a certain way and if they don’t live upto your expectations. You will eventually blame them and be disappointed by them.
However, it’s not them; it is you, you are the one having way too many expectations from them, and it is not their fault. You cant put the pressure and responsibility on someone else. You will feel disappointed and exhausted in this situation.
Moreover, In this situation, you will constantly try to influence your Partner’s decision because you know it will directly or indirectly affect your emotional state. This will intensify your attachment and it’s unhealthy for your own state of mind.
To get out of this scenario, remember that you have the ultimate power to make yourself happy. You are responsible for your own happiness, no one else. Don’t lose yourself in a relationship. Try to embrace your thoughts and feelings. Try to generate positive vibes and feelings, and it will also attract your Partner as well.
So if next time someone tries to spoil your mood, instead of overthinking about it. Shift your focus on the things you love and embrace about your life.
You have a Good Heart
Another reason you are attached so easily to others can be that you simply love being in love. You love spending time with others and getting to know them. You trust people easily and let them into your world without thinking twice.
But you have to realize that not everyone has the same intentions as you. Not everyone has a good heart as you, and that’s why you end up being hurt. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you and your pure love.
Firstly assure them that they are worthy of your love and attachment. Otherwise, you will feel used and betrayed. Remember, having a good heart is not a bad quality, but it is your responsibility to protect this loving heart of yours.
Moreover, if you find yourself forming a genuine bond with your Partner, still don’t give your heart away too soon. Suppose they prove themself to be trustworthy and have the same feelings as you. Then there is no harm in opening up to the right person. Just make sure you are attached to the right person.
Conclusion
The capability of being attached to someone is a blessing; don’t let it be your weakness. If someone is making you feel that it is your problem that you get attached to people, then you are not at the right place, my friend.
Taking care of your emotional well-being is as important as your physical and mental health. Getting attached to the wrong person too quickly and easily can damage you emotionally. It’s your responsibility to look out for yourself and not let anyone take advantage of your attachment.
From the above reasons and solutions, find what reflects your personality and start working on the solutions. Moreover, if you have a trustworthy partner, you can work together and figure out ways that help you both to grow.
However, if you are single, you can still work on your attachment issues but identifying from the above lists and what you find is the most relatable to your personality. Start working on that, and it will help you with your future relationships.
Make a conscious effort to be the reason for your own happiness. Nobody could affect your happiness unless you gave them control of your emotions. It’s never too late to start working on yourself and heal your issues.
In fact, when you start to address the issues, that is the first step to you being a better version of yourself. People like being around those who have a positive attitude and reflect positivity from within. It will come by practicing and channeling your emotions positively.
Lastly, I hope this article was helpful for you, and now you will finally stop asking yourself, ‘why do I get attached so easily?’ I think you got your answer now.
