Breakups are heard. It can be something that drains you and leaves you in absolute nothingness. But how to get over a breakup? The process is long and interesting. Sometimes it can be tiring, but in the end, it’s all worth it.
We all have heard that saying about how falling in love or being in love with someone is simple but coming into a relationship and fighting all the odds to retain that connection is very difficult.
But these conceptions have changed now. Throughout all these years, we have realized why relationships are often considered too much work. Because it requires effort, sacrifices, adjustment, and many more. But we are still not ready to put in that effort, and even if we do, the other person isn’t on the same page.
So, if you are wondering if it is all your fault behind this unsuccessful relationship, then you need to remind yourself that some things aren’t meant to be, and in the end, everything happens for your good only. You just need to trust the process of the universe and keep trying.
These 15 steps are healthy ways to get over a breakup. Let’s know how you can imply these in your life.
Give Yourself Space from Everything
When we talk about getting over a breakup, we always think about how we can make them feel what they have lost, how we can make them regret it, etc. Just stop! Isn’t it something you were doing while you were in a relationship with them? Taking care of their needs and what they perceive of themselves?
You need to get over this breakup, your motif is to move on from your bad relationship and lead a happy future ahead. Your motif is not to make them feel sad or jealous. Give yourself a break from thinking about them.
We know that it is not easy at all. How can you stop thinking about a person you shared memories with, but someone has got to do it, and this time, it’s you!
The best way to do this is just to remove everything that reminds you of them. Starting from gifts to social media handles, images, etc. Let yourself sink into the situation. Let the emptiness create first; only then will you be able to destroy it.
Stay Productively Busy
We know that every person you would see advice to will advise you to stay busy. It is just saying to be happy to a depressed person. But it does have some positive effects on your mental health.
Moreover, it can definitely make the process a lot easier. But before that, you need to understand the true meaning of being busy. Going through his social media or studying or working all the time is not the right way to do so.
Remember, at the end of the day, you need to do nothing and sleep. If you still struggle to sleep and cry missing them, it is clear you are being busy in the wrong way. What we mean by staying busy is that you need to be busy in a productive manner.
Going through social media and watching videos that remind you of your relationship is not staying busy. But working on yourself and learning a new skill at your work, putting in some extra hours to do that job perfectly, is what you need to do. Make sure that your day is filled with activities that benefit you in the long run of life.
Do Activities for Yourself
Doing activities for yourself is one of the most effective ways to get over your breakup. It does not need to make sense to anybody. It can be very intelligent, like sending them a closure text. Writing notes on your bedroom wall that reminds you of being unstoppable.
Moreover, it can be something silly like burning their love letters or gifts. These activities are meant to pull out the feeling of anger and frustration from you so that you can focus on something that is actually important to you.
One activity, I wouldn’t recommend is posting sad stuff on Instagram. Some people might even change their username to something very sad and depressing as well. I would request you to avoid that.
Instead, Sit and ask yourself what you love to do, what gives you happiness and peace. It can be anything like cooking, going on a walk, reading, etc. You can do any of them or all of them.
Yes, it is true that it will not ease the pain, but it will definitely make you realize that you never actually needed them. You will slowly realize that you are spending your time more smartly and you are actually doing better without them.
The moment you develop this sense that their absence doesn’t make a difference, it means you are winning!
Cry If You Want To
The process of moving on is not about laughing and being fearless all the time. We all miss the time we were in love. It also happens that a person remembers the beautiful times and starts crying even though it has been years since they broke up with their person, and it is absolutely normal.
When you cry, you don’t actually miss the person but the memories that you have spent with them. Not crying can lead to overburdening yourself with emotions. So, let it out. At one point, you won’t feel like crying.
Remember, crying does not in any way mean that you are weak. Moreover, it is just the opposite. A person who is expressive and never feels shamed if crying is actually doing a favor to himself.
Letting out emotions makes you feel lighter and makes you move on faster. So, cry it out. But never stop expressing. Being numb is not being mature. It is okay to feel sad, it is one of your millions of emotions, and it is high time that we accept it just as we have accepted being happy.
Acknowledge The Situation
A lot of people struggle with getting over a breakup because they don’t acknowledge the situation only. They solely focus on the loss but not on the reason. You just need to sit and look at the situation as an outsider.
Do not involve yourself in your love story, and try to see yourself as a stranger. And judge the situation. Point out situations where things could have gone wrong. If you have doubt that you have done things wrong, then try to find out where and why?
Don’t get offended! We know that it always feels like the mistake of the other person, but it is not the case all the time. You need to take the initiative and point out your flaws too. It is not blaming yourself but understanding your reactions, emotions, and mistakes.
If it’s your fault, apologize and move on. If it’s not your fault, forgive and move on. The longer you hold grudges, the worse you are going to suffer. So, it is always very important to understand why you need to let go of that person. It is for the good only.
Accept That The Relationship is no more
Do you know what is the first step of moving away from someone? It is nothing but accepting that they are not meant for you and your meant forever relationship is no more. Often, we are just not ready to accept that it is the end and start living in the false hope that they will come back into our lives and we will be happy again.
Trust us! It is not going to happen/ And even if it is going to happen, why are you bothering yourself? Don’t you think that you should focus on yourself rather than focusing on what is going to happen?
It is very important to pull your mind out of the panic zone. You are not losing anything; try to simplify things that you were in love with, you gave your best, and it didn’t work out, and it’s fine
Furthermore, the sooner you accept that the person is gone, the faster you will be able to heal yourself because the first step to healing a wound is to recognize it in the very first step and stop touching them.
Don’t Isolate Yourself
Healing yourself does not mean that you need to do everything on your own, asking for help is a great thing to do. Yes, it is very true that at the end of the day, it is just you, and only you will be there to face the truth.
But isolating yourself can make you misunderstand that you are all alone in this journey and there is no one to help you. But actually, everybody is there. They are just not aware of what you are going through.
You can do it in this way, meet your close friends and talk about everything that happened and what you have been thinking lately. It is needed because if they are aware of your emotional condition, they will handle you when you become overwhelmed.
You have heard that the most effective way of forgetting bad memories is to replace them with good ones. So that’s it, start working on that.
Spending time with yourself is important, but it is not something that you need to do all the time. Excessive alone time can make you feel emotionally numb. So, keep a balance.
Spend Time With Family & Strengthen Your Old Bonds
No matter how hard you try, the moment a new person and relationship comes into our lives, our focus shifts automatically, and there is nothing wrong with it. But focusing only on that person is something that shouldn’t be done.
Moreover, as you are already in a situation where the reason behind your divided attention is gone, you can happily focus on strengthening your old bonds, and one of the most important relationships that you should never take for granted is the relationship with your family.
Always remember that you can always fall back on your family. So, as you are giving yourself a new chance to be better, work on resolving the issues in your relationship with them and try to make your home a happy place.
Studies have shown that those who didn’t receive love from their family in their childhood are more likely to be heartbroken in their romantic relationships.
Furthermore, never forget your friends who were there in your toughest and funniest moments. So, get some time out of your schedule and spend some quality time with them. You can go to a movie or a concert and create some unforgettable memories.
Be Stubborn About Not Reaching Out to Them
Sometimes, being stubborn is good. One of the greatest traits about humans is that we are able to control our emotions and actions. But sometimes, we fail to do so. Filing to control our emotions is something that causes pain.
There is always a war going on between our brains and hearts. But in such situations, it is better to listen to our brains. Next time you feel the urge to text your ex, restrict yourself from doing so.
Be stubborn enough about your decision. The more you text or stay in touch with them, the harder it becomes to move away from that person.
It will hurt, and you will feel irritated and frustrated, but just hold your breath and trust the process. After a few days, the urge will slowly fade away.
Furthermore, it does not mean that you will not text them but stalk their social media handles. You need to be stubborn about everything that connects you to them.
It is okay to be friends with exes, but that is only suitable when both of you are moved on and emotionally mature enough to do so.
Go on Dates
Meeting new people could be the best step in this process. By meeting new people, we don’t mean that you need to get into a relationship to move on. It is the worst thing to do. Even though it feels good at first, you actually don’t move on this way but just get distracted.
Spending time with someone you are attracted to can be beautiful but later you realize that you actually haven’t moved on and you started losing interest in that person.
It can also happen that the other person was actually in love with you and this way you end up hurting someone just because you were sad.
This happens because, after a breakup, a void is created in our lives and we become desperate to fill that emptiness. At that time, even the bare minimum looks a lot and we end up mistaking attachment for love.
But, you can always consider being on dating apps and going on dates. This way you will be able to find new people ready to value you more.
Talking with people and going on respectful dates helps you to create a clear idea about what you want from a partner.
Explore Yourself & Do Something New
Exploring yourself is something that you should not only do after your breakup but in every phase of your life. Exploring yourself is not something very tough. You know, sometimes, doing mundane work can drain you more.
So, it is a good thing to do something new. It can be anything. If you have always wondered how readers read this much, or how musicians play multiple instruments, our suggestion would be why don’t you also do those things and discover yourself.
Developing a new and healthy habit is one of the most amazing ways of handling a breakup. Just imagine, you and your partner broke up, and after two years you guys meet again, they have been in the same place but you are doing much better than them.
Looks filmy right? But it can actually happen. After all, it’s all about the decisions you make. You can work on the things that you have left doing because of some reason like reading again, going through your guitar lessons again, and creating music. Who knows, you might do something much bigger in the future.
But before that, you must start with it. So, do it fearlessly.
Go on a Solo Trip
We all have seen fascinating Instagram reels about people going on solo trips. Every time we see them, there is only one thing that comes to our head and that is the urge to try them.
There are still thousands of things that people haven’t normalized doing alone like eating alone, going to movies with yourself only, etc.
Solo trips are completely different because it is not only about exploring new places but about yourself too. Through this journey, you will also get a close insight into yourself.
There are still some traits about yourself that you aren’t even aware of. Traveling solo gives you a beautiful time to spend with yourself in various situations which is a lot different than spending time with yourself at your home.
It does not need to be something expensive or luxurious. Just pick a destination that is safe and convenient for you, pack your bags, and go on. Try to use your cell phone less. The motif is to perceive life in its purest forms.
Yes, you are definitely allowed to click pictures but not to stare at them for hours.
Don’t Push Yourself Too Much
It is very important to understand that you don’t need to push yourself too much. When it comes to practicing self-love and everything, you also need to learn that you don’t need to be someone else.
A lot of people think that they need to go to expensive salons, or trips to feel happy. It is nothing like that, just do what you feel like doing. For example, if you are doing everything fine so far like checking on your health, developing hobbies, etc. But at one point in time, you felt that you miss the person, then go and miss them.
It is okay to miss people who were a part of your life once. But never contact them. You can look at their picture, and cry a little bit. It all comes under the process of healing and moving on.
Self-care is about accepting yourself too. Start acknowledging the fact that you love them but don’t forget to check up on yourself later to say that now you don’t. Sometimes, we need to raise ourselves which is a life long tiring process. So, make sure to do it with patience.
Do Some Practices
At last, you can do some practices that give you peace and help you to know your inner self. For example, if you are a spiritual person, then start doing some spiritual practices that will help you to be kind to yourself and make you achieve a broader purpose.
There are a lot of spiritual guides that you can follow like Gaur Gopal Das, Sadhguru, etc. They are one of those preachers who are eligible to make people aware of their inner being.
Conclusion
Along with forgiving yourself you also need to learn forgiving others. For example, on your spiritual journey, you will learn some simple practices like writing about someone who has hurt you, the reason, and the fact that you have forgiven them. Moreover, writing a list of things that you are grateful for makes you realize what you have been taking for granted so far.
These things make you more emotionally stable and mature. We hope that you will be able to find your way out of the difficult stage through this article. You can also refer to – How to get over someone: Practical steps.
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